May. 12th, 2011 | 01:30 pm
Wow. One month today and I'll be flying off into the wild blue yonder. I can't decide how I feel about all of this. It's cliche to say that I'm a rollercoaster of emotions but, well, I am. I've saved for this trip for more than two years. But that's not entirely true. I would save a bit, then stop, save and stop. There has always been a big part of me that didn't want this trip to happen. Wait, that's not true either. I wanted it to happen but not at the expense of my current circumstances. No cats. I KNEW I would never leave my cats for two weeks to jet off to Europe. Not when they were one, not when they were eleven so, the only way it was EVER going to happen was the way it has; me, desperate to get out of here because most days I can't stand sitting in this one bedroom, depressing, lonely apartment without them.
Animals bring life wherever they go. It pulses around them like an energy beacon "What can I get into now? Hey, what's that? Is that mine? Can I steal that? Where's my food? Do you have food? I want some...No, I'm not tired, let's jump on the bed!" It's inspiring, it's contagious and it's fun. That's it. I always had fun with my kids. I loved throwing a ball and watching them chase it, figure out they could bat it around on their own with a stategically placed paw: Mommy would be forgotten as the two would engage in a game of keep away.
Their capacity for learning was astounding. Both, would soak stuff up like a sponge, but I saw early on that they learned differently. Kasey dove right into everything. She taught herself how to lift up the food container lid because hey, she always wanted food and Mom wouldn't always give it to her. Cagey Kasey I nicknamed her as I watched her jump on the back of my favourite chair and push the door handle down with her paw. Once the door clicked open, she would jump down and saunter into the bedroom, well aware that company was coming in roughly ten minutes.
Bud was just smart. It's the best way I can describe it. He read me like a book from day one and I watched him do it with everyone. He'd hang back, get a good read, then he'd go forward confident in his ability to get it right. He just KNEW. It was a great gift, and one I always tried to appreciate and let flourish. But he had a few tricks too. My least favourite being his ability to jump on the counter and rip the hot bacon out of the pan with his teeth. I was always terrified of him getting burned yet I didn't want to yell at him to get down for fear of starling him and causing a fall. It was a tough balancing act, on both our parts.
I've gone off on a tangent. That always seems to happen on here. Anyway, I miss the fun, the unpredictabiliy of it all and well this trip may provide a distraction, and some once in a lifetime experiences, it comes at a huge cost, money aside. Whoever said nothing was free got it right. I may be flying off into the wild blue yonder but a big part of me will still be here, wishing it wasn't even a possibility.
Animals bring life wherever they go. It pulses around them like an energy beacon "What can I get into now? Hey, what's that? Is that mine? Can I steal that? Where's my food? Do you have food? I want some...No, I'm not tired, let's jump on the bed!" It's inspiring, it's contagious and it's fun. That's it. I always had fun with my kids. I loved throwing a ball and watching them chase it, figure out they could bat it around on their own with a stategically placed paw: Mommy would be forgotten as the two would engage in a game of keep away.
Their capacity for learning was astounding. Both, would soak stuff up like a sponge, but I saw early on that they learned differently. Kasey dove right into everything. She taught herself how to lift up the food container lid because hey, she always wanted food and Mom wouldn't always give it to her. Cagey Kasey I nicknamed her as I watched her jump on the back of my favourite chair and push the door handle down with her paw. Once the door clicked open, she would jump down and saunter into the bedroom, well aware that company was coming in roughly ten minutes.
Bud was just smart. It's the best way I can describe it. He read me like a book from day one and I watched him do it with everyone. He'd hang back, get a good read, then he'd go forward confident in his ability to get it right. He just KNEW. It was a great gift, and one I always tried to appreciate and let flourish. But he had a few tricks too. My least favourite being his ability to jump on the counter and rip the hot bacon out of the pan with his teeth. I was always terrified of him getting burned yet I didn't want to yell at him to get down for fear of starling him and causing a fall. It was a tough balancing act, on both our parts.
I've gone off on a tangent. That always seems to happen on here. Anyway, I miss the fun, the unpredictabiliy of it all and well this trip may provide a distraction, and some once in a lifetime experiences, it comes at a huge cost, money aside. Whoever said nothing was free got it right. I may be flying off into the wild blue yonder but a big part of me will still be here, wishing it wasn't even a possibility.
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